


Not Quite a True Platonic Declaration of Love

by ShadeofGreen



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, All the Wrong Questions - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Conversations, Gen, Hospital, Kidnapping, Minor Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28290201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeofGreen/pseuds/ShadeofGreen
Summary: Very few people know what theSstands for in S. Theodora Markson.
Relationships: S. Theodora Markson & Lemony Snicket
Kudos: 10





	Not Quite a True Platonic Declaration of Love

**_Tap-tap-tap._ **

**_Tap-tap-tap._ **

Theodora stops tapping the steering wheel, and gives out a long sigh. “What the hell is taking him so long? I know grabbing children by the ankles is difficult, and Alex isn’t what I call the right person for the job —he’s subbing in after all— but I been waiting for almost an hour! Even a novice takes fifteen minutes at the most! Just because I’m the get-away driver does not mean I have an infinite amount of patience!”

As soon as she finishes her rant, the back-passenger side door opens up, and closes with a small **_slam_**! Theodora gives out another long sigh. She opens her mouth to start up another rant, but stops. In the passenger side is Alex himself, with a few leaves sticking out from his hair, with mud over the cuff of his shirt cuffs and shirt collar.

“Alex, where are the Snicket Children?

“The Snickets are still inside the house. No, I didn’t leave because of their parents. We all know E is investigating at the mill and Jacob from what I can tell, is still in the forest to cut down a tree for fire wood. The twins are drinking tea at the kitchen table, still waiting for their dad to come back. The last one though… I had to climb three different trees to figure out which room he’s in!”

“And?”

“It seems Ishmael forgot to tell the both of us some very important information about E and Jacob’s last child. You know how we spend the whole drive asking ourselves why Ishmael referred to him as the little Snicket lad?”

“Yes.”

“Baby is more of the appropriate word. I don’t think he’s even a year old yet. Even though Ishmael told us the Snickets gave their approval…well, you know me. I’m just subbing in. I honestly didn’t think my first day as a substitute would have me taking a baby as well!”

Alex gives out a groan, then covers his face with his hands. “I know you’re the driver and all, and what I’m asking is out of your field of expertise…not to mention your ex told me recently when visiting the Denouement Inn that you’re afraid of—”

“Say no more,” interrupts Theodora, opening the driver’s door. “I’ll take care of the infant. Just tell me which room he’s in. Just know I’ll ask in the future of a request that will fit the price of me doing something you know I’m afraid of now.”

“Well, you’re in luck,” answers Alex, getting out of the back of the car. “His room is on the second floor. If you climb the shortest tree, you’ll find yourself looking right into his nursery.”

She watches Alex walk towards the Snicket Mansion and see him jump over the small fence. To get the twins from the kitchen, he has to enter through the back door.

Theodora takes notice the shortest tree is located on the left side of the mansion, as well as the fact it’s not quite located near the back of the house. She gives out a sigh and strolls over to the front gate, entering the property like any normal person would politely do. Theodora is rather happy the climb wouldn’t have her climbing to the top floor. She just hopes the window would be unlock, or else Theodora will certainly snap at Alex later on.

Theodora isn’t the best climber —her sister is better of the two— due to her fear of heights. However, Theodora can proudly say right now at this very moment she successfully climbs up the tree to the second floor without looking down. Not once did she feel an uneasy sense of creeping dread looming over her.

Luck must be on Theodora’s side today, as she observes carefully the windows are down but not properly lock. She steadily makes her way closer to the window, making sure to not fall of the heavy and thick branch supporting her body weight, and opens it. Theodora pauses for a moment, to make sure she wasn’t heard.

The twins certainly didn’t hear a thing. She didn’t even hear their voices. Either Alex is still figuring out a way to take the children, or gotten though with the act and is waiting for Theodora now. She gives out a sigh, and continues climbing through the window into the nursery.

Like any standard nursery for an infant, there are countless of stuff plush toys on the floor, as well as a small bookcase with an assortment of picture books with few words for a parent to read to their young child. The changing station is located near the front of the room, with the crib itself located in the middle of the room.

Theodora walks towards the crib, and looks inside to see an infant she estimated to be almost one, staring back at her. He was wearing a white onesie that has sleeves and legs, something that appears to be booties shoes, and a little white hat with a small pompom adorn onto it. 

“Hello there, Snicket,” says Theodora, knowing perfectly well the infant will not be able to respond. “My name is S. Theodora Markson. If circumstances were different, I would be meeting you downstairs with my associate, Alex D. However, I am here meeting you in your soon to be former nursery room, due to a recently change development that is not my fault.”

Snicket merely blinks, and then he starts cooing, raising his arms up with a smile. Theodora gently picks him up, trying to hold him in a way to support his fragile head. She isn’t used to holding infants, even when told advice how to do so from the parents themselves.

Snicket gives out a laugh, and starts grabbing her hair. He didn’t pull it too hard, like Theodora expected him to do, given her past experience with other infants who have taken an interest her in her hair. She brushes what little bangs Snicket has on his head, and stares back at him. His little eyes of curiosity seem to asking, “What does the _S_ stand for?”

“Sorry, Snicket,” answers Theodora, as the two make their way down the stairs to exit the Snicket Mansion from the front door. “I won’t tell you my name, at least right now. Perhaps when you’re older, if circumstances ever allow us to meet again. Right now, you’re going to join your siblings in the vehicle.”

* * *

Was it the right decision to go to the hospital under an alias? Most people would say no.

Being call ‘Sunny’ by the nurses and doctor felt worse than getting call by her actual first name. Theodora doesn’t think any part of a name should reflect anything of the person. But given her current circumstances —lying in bed in a hospital room currently alone, with little to no hope of recovering, wondering when death will claim her and take her to the unknown— her name is now absolutely appropriate, even more than ever.

Her first name is certainly much better than the middle name of her sister though. Sensible…there’s nothing sensible about her sister anymore. To think Theodora learned the news from the ex-boyfriend of all people. Even though she knows her ex-boyfriend was acting with sincerely when informing her of the news, Theodora still wished he never told her.

Sharon Haines’ betrayal is one thing. But the betrayal of family, especially one of flesh and blood, is something else. It wasn’t just a betrayal to V.F.D. and their associates. It’s a betrayal to the Markson Family. Sensible is the only family Theodora had left, and now…

It may not be the right decision to go to the hospital under an alias, but if Theodora could hopefully get her sister to understand her pain in anyway or form, it’s almost worth it.

Theodora gives out a sigh, and then closes her eyes. She hears the sound of the door opening and closing. Of course he would show up later than sooner with an update regarding Sensible. He walks in silence, until he each the food of the hospital bed.

“Allowing you to be the only person to know was a great idea in theory,” says Theodora, her eyes still close. “But in practice, I think I truly come to regret it. Just because we put most of our past behind us, doesn’t means I want to be waiting for you for almost an hour. I fear the thought of possibly dying with my ex-boyfriend present in the room!”

Theodora feels her heart skipping a beat when she hears a chuckle. Even though the voice is a man, it certainly didn’t belong to her ex. The voice belongs to a man she thought dead for quite some time. Granted, the last time she truly saw the man —let alone spoke to him—was when the man was still young enough for Theodora to refer to him as a teenager.

“With all due respect,” says the man’s voice, “but what did you expect by letting your ex-boyfriend —one I could have sworn you called terrible— be the one help you come up with the finer details of your inane plan?”

Theodora quickly opens her eyes. She turns her head slightly to the right. There standing before her was a man in three-piece suit, a long trench coat, and a hat with an oversize brim. The man removes his hat, and places it onto the side table. His face isn’t what she would refer to as ‘chipmunk cheeks’, but a face she could describe as being round, almost like a melon.

It’s a round face Theodora truly thought she would never see again.

“Snicket…you’re alive.”

“Hello, Theodora. Or do you want me to keep up the charade, and call you Sunny?”

Theodora weakly shakes her head no. “Theodora is fine, Snicket.”

Snicket doesn’t answer back. He walks towards one corner of the room, and grabs a chair. He drags it with him until he reaches Theodora’s bedside again, and then sits down.

“To think reports of your death were greatly exaggerated,” says Theodora. “Was it orders from superiors, or was it another plan of your own making?”

“The latter, with a little help of course,” answers Snicket. “The plan certainly benefited from _The Daily Punctilio_. It sped up my apparent death faster than I would have expected.”

Snicket then lowers his head. “Unfortunately, I didn’t consider the possibility that dreadful paper would also easily sway a few associates’ opinion of me in the opposite direction.”

“Am I one of them?” asks Theodora. She may be part of the older generation, and the two aren’t true associates in the traditional sense, but there isn’t much harm for a confirmation.

“You didn’t have much of a high opinion of me in the first place,” replies Snicket, his head still hanging low. “You were always comparing me to Bertrand in my apprenticeship. Constantly.”

Snicket quickly raises his head. “Does Bertrand truly not know you’re here? Your ex-boyfriend told me I’m the first —and so far, only— person to realizing the plan you two cooked up.”

“He doesn’t know. And maybe it’s for the better,” answers Theodora. “The last time I saw Bertrand, he was happy with Beatrice, and their little girl of theirs. He didn’t see me of course, so I can’t be certain. At the least, I am very glad to believe he’s content with his life.”

Theodora pauses for a moment. She wishes she had some strength to grab hold of Snicket’s hand. He probably would pull away though.

“I won’t deny I praise everything Bertrand had done when I was your chaperone,” continues Theodora. “I won’t deny that I show favoritism towards him, especially whenever you two were together. But if you must know…if I were to have a son, I expect him to be quite similar to you.”

Snicket’s sudden change of expression —it looks like he got push into a creature’s mouth himself— almost make Theodora wanting to laugh.

“You may not believe me, but I was heartbroken when learning of your ‘so-call’ crimes, as well as your apparent death. I didn’t stop crying for days after reading the article.” Theodora closes her eyes again. “I’m glad to know that you’re still alive, Snicket. While there are many things in my life I would prefer to take to my grave, what I’m telling you now isn’t one of them.”

She hears Snicket give out a small laugh, and suddenly felt him grabbing her hand. “I guess that means you’ll never going to tell me what the _S_ stands for then.”

Theodora reopens her eyes, and smiles. “Stay in your seat, Snicket. You’re in for a surprise.”

**Author's Note:**

> I remember awhile back **that** sentence in TGG and I went 'well I know it should logically refer to Beatrice, but he also mention the Baudelaire Parents seconds ago what is going on here?'. Combining that headscratcher with a headcanon of Lemony due to being _a baby_ when he was ~~kidnapped~~ taken wasn't dragged by the ankles but carried out, created images of Theodora carrying baby Lemony out, and that she's the woman in the sentence because thinking over **that** sentence again, I honestly can't recall any indication it was romantic love (then again, I haven't TGG in a while so I think there's a possibility I'm misinterpreting it).
> 
> This is pretty much me trying to figure out how to connect the two images together into a coherent single idea. I honestly have no idea what is the word for family love, so the title is just me having a big old struggle.


End file.
